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Today we are starting this new series called “Ghosts of Christmas Past.” As we do, I’d like to thank Life.Church for developing this series and making it available and free churches. Much of the theme and message organization comes from Pastor Craig Groeschel and his team. Anytime I interject my own stories, they are mine. I’m not going to repeat his experiences and pass them off as my own. So that’s clear, let’s look at the Ghosts of Christmas Past. That phrase of course comes from Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol” and I enjoy that story very much.
It intrigues me. It’s set long ago in merry old England – (a time and a place I’ve no first-hand experience.) It deals with spooky things that I can only experience in my imagination. The Ghost of Christmas Past showed Ebeneazer Scrooge his past in order to help change his present.
But there’s just something haunting about the past, isn’t there? Even though it’s behind us and even though we can’t experience the past in the Present…It still lingers, follows us and affects us in certain ways.
If, when you were a child you survived a car crash, you might be so thankful and appreciate your life moving forward. OR perhaps you might NEVER get into a car again.
If you had a relationship in the past and had a bad break-up, you might never want to talk to that person again. Maybe never trust your heart to another person again.
The Ghosts of the past seem to linger. But they especially linger during the Christmas season. At a time you might want to feel holly and jolly, you think back to those ghosts and they just straight ruin it for you.
As we start this series about the Ghosts of Christmas past I want to say something that needs to be stated: You can’t go back in time and fix or change anything that has happened in your past. You can’t take back those words, the ones you regretted moments after they left your mouth. You can’t save that person who rejected the Lord and you think you didn’t push hard enough with the gospel message. You can’t repair a Christmas experience that went horribly wrong. The ghosts of the past want to linger, in this series we will look at what the bible says about HOW we can defeat and resolve these Ghosts in the present…So we can have a Christmas Future.
Next week we will look at healing from shame, the week after that we will dive in labels – who’s putting them on us anyway? But today we are looking at Overcoming Offense.
Overcoming Offense
Offense is a “wonderful” thing…it wonderfully ruins so many Christmas gatherings…and lives!
There are BIG things we get Offended about and small, common things we get offended about.
Crossing the Street
We live here in Wisconsin and it took me a while to understand some of the nuances to simply crossing the street. From my perspective, If I’m a pedestrian trying to cross a busy street, and there are no traffic lights (i.e. crossing Main St. by the Co-op.) I would wait until it’s less busy before taking my turn and crossing when I’m ready. However there are some folks who, in a 4-lane road, like to stop so I can try and get across. I’m offended because I feel pressure to go when I’m not ready and they seem a bit put off since I didn’t cross when they stopped! Then the next car drives by and looks at both of us, wondering “What’s their problem?”
Good Morning
What about when you say “Good-morning” to someone? It’s not so easy these days to greet someone with a smile. Anytime before noon, I’ll try to say “Good-morning” to customers and they act like they don’t hear me…maybe they disagree. (it’s not a good morning!) I don’t take it into account that perhaps they are having a bad morning. (Proverbs 27:14 “If anyone loudly blesses their neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.”)
Either way…I’m a bit offended to not even be acknowledged!
Technology
It’s unfortunate, but in this instant media age people have F.O.M.O. or Fear Of Missing Out. So they are on their mobile devices, on Social media constantly. Where this becomes a problem is when you try to have a real conversation with a person who is glued to their device. They actively listen to what you’re saying, but don’t put down the device or look up at you much. They are actually interested in their social media feed rather than you or I. I know this offends me, but I also know I’ve been guilty of this a time or two. It takes intentionality to set the device aside and give someone your undivided attention.
Holidays
What about holidays? I don’t know about you but I get very offended when someone does not appreciate a gift or a thoughtful act. As a parent, I want to teach my kids to be thankful to those who’ve given them something and for the thing that was given. It irritates me when someone not only doesn’t appreciate what was given, but they are then offended that you even got them that! That you did that for them! Whatever it was…it starts a cycle of Offense.
Deeper Offenses
Alot of those things I’ve mentioned can be smoothed over and easily worked through. But what about the bigger, deeper offenses? What about betrayal? What about obsessive lying? What about abuse: physical, verbal, emotional…this can’t be swept under the rug! These things ruin Christmas get-togethers, but more importantly they ruin lives.
I remember one year at Christmas time. We were at one of my relative’s houses and I think I was a bit too young and naïve to understand what was going on. My relatives had been celebrating quite a bit with alcohol and the amount they were drinking and perhaps the way they were treating one another…really upset my sister. We grew up in a small town. Our parents didn’t drink. We personally knew our D.A.R.E. officer and had been taught of the dangerous road that can come from giving into drugs and alcohol. My sister was upset and she was offended at the behavior of these adults and we didn’t stay at the house much longer after that.
I don’t have a personal example, but I’ll let your mind wander. Has there been deep offenses in your life, in your relationships that just ruin the Christmas season for you? Someone has deeply hurt you, offended you. Perhaps there’s nothing you think can fix it.
Maybe they are hurt by something you did or said…problem is you don’t know what you did or said! How can you make it right?
All of these types of offenses: tiny to tremendous– there is a key phrase that I hope we all start thinking and saying to ourselves. When we are holding on to that offense…remember this:
YOUR LIFE IS TOO SHORT AND YOUR CALLING IS TOO BIG TO LIVE OFFENDED.
Proverbs 19:11 says this:
11 A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 19:11 NIV
How can I just pretend it didn’t happen? (the bible doesn’t say that.) it says “over-look” offenses. Not the same thing. For us it’s a conscious decision to “let it go.” It’s a form of forgiveness.
Has anyone ever done that for you before? You know they could have said something, did something… but they just simply let it go?
Overlook is made from 2 Hebrew words and means to “pass over.”
Kind of like when the Spirit of God Passed-over the Israelites on the night of weeping and wailing in Egypt. Those who’s door posts had the blood of the Lamb on it, the spirit passed over and didn’t kill the first born son in that home. To overlook an offense is to pass over it.
You may have heard of philosopher Rene Descartes. He had this to say about being offended.
“Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it.”
Rene Descartes
Whenever you get offended by someone or something…it can help us to remember the truth if we repeat and think on this phrase:
Life is too short—Calling to great. With God’s help,
I’m getting over it!
WITH GOD’S HELP, I’M GETTING OVER THIS
Not only do we need to work through and overlook those things actively offending us, but we need to change our mind set. Being prepared, “Here comes this person, here comes this situation…I’m going to get mad…I’m fixin’ to (as they say down south) I’m fixin’ to get offended. Then Simply…don’t. Don’t Get Easily Offended.
I’M GETTING OVER BEING EASILY OFFENDED.
2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.
Eph 4:2 NLT
Make allowance—You’re not perfect
I know that there may be topics of conversation that will get us all worked up. We have to identify what those are and then proactively respond.
You might be going to the store and there’s not your favorite type of chips on the shelf. You go and ask an employee for help and they quickly tell you they are out of that. There’s nothing to be done for you…and the employee scampers away. “Oh that kid just doesn’t care about my needs! I need those chips! What terrible customer service.” You might not see how many different directions that employee is being pulled. Customers, managers, daily quota demands. All working that employee hard.
And that’s just when someone inconveniences you. What about if someone actually says something mean or is short with you? Comes back to Ephesians 4:2
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.
Ephesians 4:2
I want to share the following from Craig Groeschel. He had this to say:
“What’s interesting is how often we tend to judge others by their actions. What do we often do with ourselves? We often judge ourselves by our intentions. In other words, you did it. Well I didn’t mean to do that. You know my heart right? I wasn’t thinking that. You really know my heart so you should give me the benefit of the doubt.
Yet we’re so quick to point one finger at someone else’s
actions that we really have three fingers pointing back at us. We judge them by their actions and ourselves by our intentions.”
Craig also shared something that I try to remember to do as well. When you recognize someone is being short with you…lead with empathy instead of offense.
“I wonder what they are going through? I wonder where they are hurting…” For me, I try to take the next step. It’s to PRAY for them right then and there. I have learned that is ESSENTIAL developing peace between the person and I, but also peace inside me.
If the only time I spend obsessing about a person who’s snapped at me or treated me wrong…is when I’m praying for them, I’m going to be a more peace-filled person. A healthier person. Healthier spiritually, mentally and emotionally.
Life’s too short, calling TOO Great to live offended.
With God’s help, I can get over this offense.
I’m getting over being easily offended.
When we overlook an offense, when we use it to motivate us toward prayer, we become more compassionate and kind. Thinking of others rather than ourselves.
Offense is all about self.
The opposite is to care and pray for others.
This is how we fight back, with God’s help, the Ghost of Offense.
I’m not going to let offense ruin my Christmas Season.
Life’s too short. My calling is too great.
With God’s help, I’m getting over being easily offended
Viroqua Naz 
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